16 April 2009

just passing through

i started this blog in the midst of one of the hardest periods of my life. and i'm still very much stuck here grappling with finding my way out of this mess. i've never really addressed the issues with you here head on, i guess that's not my style, but i do share a glance here and there, notes of sincerity that i'd never before passed on, and discover that some of us find inspiration and solace in the same things. i was lying in bed thinking and thinking and decided to just get up and write this. i was touched by a comment earlier in the evening by blair from delight by design, {one of her many thoughtful comments} and realized how this distant closeness can help us move on, in a way i'd never imagined.

in a constant state of change, rearranging the awkward and precious elements of my life, rummaging around what i have and have failed to hold on to, what i lost, dusty objects of value uncovered, those i hope one day to grasp, and everything in between... i search for perspective and share with you words and thoughts that i've found in myself and in the conviction of others, that capture a distinct sentiment in a particular light that suits my situation in this moment, and often in the next... only inferring at the heart of the matter, because it's the only way that i can pull myself through it.

it's not yet been six months since i started the blog and i've met some kindred spirits, some great talent, and an abundance of inspiration, compassion, and generosity. i glance through the progression of my posts as it documents -- in a hazy sort of light -- the roads i've tried to go down, the ones that i still find covered in fog, jammed with traffic or with one too many curves, and distant roads just around the corner that i've merely seen on a map and have yet to locate on my own, but at least i've got the license and the nagging desire to search for resilience, the {albeit, stop-and-go} drive, to look further ...and to maybe, someday, get there.

thanks for coming with me, and taking me with you, for the occasional honk or wave, and for often lending me the gps and inspiration for routes that i'd never stopped to consider along the way and that, just possibly, can take me.. where i will discover.. where i'll want to go.

x chantal

images: 1}carla coulson 2}julia galdo


Heidi said...

Wow that was beautiful. Your writing is incredible. I am so glad that you shared with us what you are going through. This time in our lives is hard and I wish that I knew the secret medicine to make it easier, but I have to believe that things will only get better. Hang in there!! You will find exactly what you are looking for when you least expect it. In the meantime look for the beauty in every day and enjoy it. XoXo

{lauryl} said...

i just have to say... that was lovely. i hope we can meet over coffee sometime soon and catch up on each other's lives. while you are on this journey of your own, your words and the images you share are inspiring many. love love {lauryl}

words and photo booth moments said...

heidi: thx for you genuinely sweet comments, and your support! it's so interesting to have found people like you who are having a hard time figuring it all out, as i am, we'll both find the way...and while you're finding your way....i'll be here in the moments!!

lauryl: my dearest, is that you? so great to hear from you and thanks for your nice words. don't even want to count how long it's been since we last socialized over coffee {on second thought, we were in england, so it was most likely drinks!!} but would love love to catch up. i'm in santa barbara rather often, could we possibly meet there???

kisses girls x c

{lauryl} said...

yes, yes, absolutely. i live in silverlake so unfortunately i don't head to the westside too often, but with the weather getting better i shall be much more determined to spend time at the beach and i'll be in touch next time i find myself heading the santa barbara way! ;) xo