shhh uhhhh I mean ahh and to think, bad writing and grammar drive me crazy. AND I TEACH WRITING FOR GOODNESS SAKE AHHHH

after all this time.... in th midst of a really painful migraine where I'm typing most of this with my eyes closed (haha I mean seriously I should leave it for you as only auto correct intended that would be awesome) anyway where was I oh yes.. only at this incomvoeniwnrnv hHaha ok I left that one for ya, only at this inconvenient mime... Iran ugh i mean time seruov seriously mauby I cannot post on a IPod with aigraobe.* shhh shah IpeAn I mean ahhhhhjhh not duh

*iPod with a migraine
**to be clear, the migraine doesn't have a mountains MIGRAINE -- I do
***lol like that cleared things up!! ha I intended on writing that it's not my iPod who has the migraine, it's me. but I believe sfter all of this nonsense that's become screamingly cleat CLEAR. please font DON'T scream.

oh how this had
has become this is reductions reduce rediculus I just wanted to post some haiku thata I just wrogtw wrote about japan because jahoa -- how appropriate of course bit I scribbled them on post it notes and forget this technology inhibit wow I can't even type u fi
followed by hugging hah ah lala I was trying to put a lot of h's like in ahhhh but with more and I either get inhibit or hugging and now this simple post of two haiku for japan hasbecome a parhetic n obvious display of both my inability to type on th iPod tharen
the Algeria n so kindly gave to me saxonrj six months ago but i still cant do it and also tellse me that Persians during my migraine days I should stick to wroth writing on poster
postits with pencil. oh haha and by persians -imeanto write perhaps ....:for goodness saké [oh ya but that lady lazy LAST one there, my friends, that was alll mine, no credit to autocorrect on that one for goodness---]

ok I mist UST UH MUST dash --

die DUE to technical difficulties..mograkinograine ie. migraine had has seen significant increase.

haik u late
r

x c

scarlet

warmth perched upon october 

nights the nightingale of hours summer song 

entr'acte

yes the curtain's been

closed between the acts i'll play

in tune for you words

photo : carla coulson

but... by the time- and we-

rush by they and you : same 
never the-- too late-FLASH- : 
-moments are when we--


[haiku cut out from a longer poem i wrote last night, will put the whole thing here shortly....]
x c

 flickr

in winter hanging bright spots of color in darkness from blog entries scribbled

in time like oranges
in winter hanging bright on
dark clouds and strong leaves




 ..•.

in time like oranges
in winter hanging bright on
dark clouds and strong leaves

fall.


•

.


at once -- rough winds or ready

.



fallen. sometimes the sweetest fruit-- winter.


.•.


hi.
after a long absence (i've been scribbling down all my blog entries on papers ..easier on the head to stay away from the computer screen.. and i've been caught up in typing kids' stories and newspaper when i do get on the computer, and so i've never gotten to typing my stuff here, but you know i've been writing, and still making entries, how could i not....?) nevertheless, in the midst of darkness (literally) and worsening headache today,

i bring you: one haiku two ways, •and with an extra syllable• and two six word stories that i stitched together.

the other day i was struck by the brightness of the oranges in my backyard, glowing on the tree in the bareness of winter when the surrounding trees seemed to have literally given up. but the oranges were there hanging strong in the wind and rain against the dark clouds, and i'd never really considered how they hang on there, through it all, (thick skin i guess) and still give us the sweetest juice through the shortest days of the year, and all winter long. At times we hear this loud •thump• from outside as another orange --rough winds or ready-- falls from the waxy leaves of the tree and hits the deck, fall. and still the other oranges cling cheerfully to the tree, the bright oranges embraced by the (ok, yes, not so common in california, but we still have winter) dark grey of a cloudy ominous sky. it was there before me the other morning ..this image.. as if i'd never noticed. and yet i enjoy the fresh and plentiful orange juice every winter. and so i hurried inside to scribbled down this haiku.

and sitting here today in darkness, i remembered it. and you, and this.... and it's been so long since i posted any of my writing, and some of you are so good, so loyal about contacting me and checking on here, or encouraging me, and i don't always respond right away, but i answer in my head, i've composed great responses in my head! and those words from you are my oranges, and you know who you are, and it will get better, and i always say i will try but then life-- and then life--

but i will try.

and while looking for spots of color in darkness--
x c

science is the new black (now a series)

so until my smart science sister has that science blog of hers i told you about up and running (yes it's still in 'development' phase) i'm going to do my own version of vague-she'll-laugh-at-me-science-ish posts until she finally can't take it anymore and gets so embarrassed for me that she just decides on a title for her authentic science blog, registers it, and writes her first entry (which, by the way, i encouraged her to write about when she recently explained to my parents how to make a home-remedy disinfectant using a bottle of vodka-- or at least-- that was the story they gave me when i found the empty bottle of really old vodka on the kitchen counter, that's what they claimed to have used it for.)


and since science is the new black, today my vague science-ish topics will be as follows :
(because i personally believe that in science organization and lists are probably important)

• the book my sister is reading
• a quote from darwin (that i got from my sister)
• the effects of medications on creativity (a personal anecdote from yours truly)



the book my sister is reading right now sounds fascinating, i'm actually dying to read it. and that never happens when she's reading about proteins or cells. this book literally combines our two passions, our two ways of looking and thinking and understanding, our two worlds of thought-- literature and science, poetry and uh-- you know-- science... just kidding. but seriously it sounds like an clever and involved book that she will read slowly and digest every detail and i will read sentence by sentence and get such inspiration with each sentence that i'll stop to write for a day and them come back the next day to read the following sentence. the book is called proust was a neuroscientist by jonah lehrer a young writer who has now got my attention. i'm going to pick up this book in the next few days.



next on our agenda is something i keep thinking about, and she (my sister) keeps thinking about -- and i'll let you think about it now. it's her 'status' online, a quote by darwin. read it. over and over.

"it is not the strongest species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the ones most responsive to change"

charles darwin

and lastly, since we're discussing neuroscience and change, we can touch on the recent happenings in my headache saga. this new treatment i've been on (aka the reason for my blog absence, twitter disappearance and unprecedented block of the writing kind) is an anti seizure medication, the latest method in migraine prevention. but here's what i've noticed. (other than the obvious side effect of losing my thoughts in mid-sentence-- everything just goes on pause--- the ideas and words evaporate and i completely forget what i was saying) it's as though it has literally stopped the 'seizures' of thought, of passion and inspiration in my head. let me insert here, poetic surges of inspiration and passion and thought, because other things like focus on work and developing curriculum for my writing students has increased, productivity and creativity in this area has expanded, but where, i keep asking myself, are my desires to immerse myself and wade out too deep in poetic words and flashes of haiku that stop every other happening in the world, every other thought, poems that come over me like-- (see this is where the words would have come over me, or simply flowed from my fingertips and metaphorically showed you the arrival of the poems, instead, there's a pause--- a slight hollow buzz) or perhaps i'm putting too much pressure on myself and i'm still in the adjustment phase. i know. the words are in here, but perhaps a seizure of words isn't so bad every once in a while, when all of a sudden i fall down because this idea hits me like-- well like-- well-- you know--

the first in the science is the new black series : here : the beginning of the end some might call it, my sister might call it etc...

x c

why isn't it just a waste of time

the answer in your
hands puzzle pieces-- if this--
or-- this-- but you know--


haiku : by c : chandeliers on the floor
photos : by c : flickr

blink-- you'll miss it

photos : by c

the sun set sky blushed
over busy streets wires crossed
birds sang traffic-- slowed--

in this light--

photos : by c

in time-- in words in
silence --in every hour years
light dark eyes and will---

the balcony scene

loyal waves crash touch

laughter-- pull away with faith--

to return once more

::

and other times life sneaks up like a huge wave knocking me down, throwing me far off course and leaving me there to see the beauty that exists but just out of reach...

all year long i thought the waves that would touch me this summer would be in maratea italy with all my friends to celebrate the marriage of two dear friends maria teresa and christophe.... but headaches and instability in this life of mine left me ashore. maria teresa and christophe have their wedding today and i won't be there.... au moins, later this week my norwegian friend will arrive from the wedding to california to give me the full report over kaffe. but i won't be in italy today and there was not question in my mind, i planned to be there for them. but life has crashed down on me multiple times since then.

and you may remember a little website we were making together for their wedding.. ya... it's still sitting there.. with one entry {ooops}. perhaps we can turn it into an online guest book / photo album for those who were there in person and in spirit. still can't think about missing their day, it makes me too sad.

dear friends that live so far that oceans get in the way and physically divide us, but at the same time, could never keep us apart.

these are photos from the last time i saw mt and chris last spring in paris. last farewell glimpses taken from the window of a train after years of friendship, two weeks of just-like-it-used-to-be, and this lovely afternoon spent in the sunny garden of their versailles house....

::

i'm not super sweet on wedding inspired stories, but their story is simply perfection and cannot be overlooked. two of the most genuine, generous, fun, funny, sweet, adorable, charming, vivacious, delightful people...

literal sunshine in my life and over my rough oceans.

you guys have brightened my life. and i'm not just saying it, i really really mean it. i wish you all the happiness. but it's been there and will be, it's already written for you.....

footprints trace those in

smooth sands deep that time will tell--

the hours-- yours to make

::

love to you mt and chris
et a tres vite j'espere...
bisoubacikisses
x c

{the first & last photos were taken in maratea italy and i absolutly love them :: by design monkey}

flight :: train de nuit :: haiku

in the fresh hours of early light awoken soft from restless warmth you--





image :: train de nuit the new chanel N°5 film
haiku :: by moi :: more here on my new blog

forgive before forgotten :: train de nuit :: haiku

dust off the window
peer in-- the world still as it
was we are could be




image :: train de nuit the new chanel N°5 film
haiku :: by moi :: more here on my new blog

train station whispers :: train de nuit :: haiku

train station whispers
dusty windows glimpse glamour
days past our time glows

image :: train de nuit the new chanel N°5 film
haiku :: by moi :: more here on my new blog

still :: train de nuit :: haiku

after all this-- train
still passes in the distance
in our distance-- still--


image :: train de nuit the new chanel N°5 film
haiku :: by moi :: more here on my new blog

somehow know :: train de nuit :: haiku

there's a whisper in
the air can't quite hear somehow
know-- it's about you



image :: train de nuit the new chanel N°5 film
haiku :: by moi :: more here on my new blog

train de nuit

train de nuit the new chanel N°5 film

i know i'm late in writing about this and posting these simply breathtaking images, but i don't think anyone will mind. this new epic chanel N°5 film/commercial came out earlier in spring and though i've watched it many times since... last night/early this morning when i'd awoken with yet another headache, this served as a delicious distraction, i'm completely swept up in the images, and the way that this small breath of a film takes mine with it and holds so many images and sights, ideas that have been sources of inspiration to me for so long....

trains play a huge role in my life and have, literally.. metaphorically.. poetically.. in paris but also in california {i didn't get my license until i was almost 30..eh hem... i'm 29 haha} and i've cherished train station glances and goodbyes, and hellos, and... and rides that went where they weren't supposed to, and train tickets at the bottom of my purse that remind me.....

the orient express. feel as though i've traveled on it so many times in my mind, in my relationships, in my passions and tastes for more... the train leaves paris {the city.. 'the one that got away' for me} and istanbul {the next stop on my travel ticket, where some of my dearest friends live, canim cok optum girls}

the colors... brilliant, muted, reflecting, deep tinged with nostalgia.... signature glow of jean-pierre jeunet {the director of amelie} who i, along with my dear crazy friend, chased through the streets of montmartre in 2001 as he conducted interviews, did press photo shoots and met with members of the amelie cast in the cafe where it was filmed. we even met him and took photos and autographs and les bises... the only two non-press, english-speaking 'fans' that were present, we were still new to paris and hadn't realized that the french don't drool over celebrities as americans do. but quand meme we had an amazing experience, and were far more refined when we sat next to audrey in our favorite cafe months later, or when my parents and i sat next to another of the film's actresses while she ate an omelet and entertained her very small baby, just the two of them, a rainy afternoon in paris, in yet another cafe.

anyway. too much writing, i'm sure you just want to look at the images, as they are lovely. i will post a few of the film stills separately with some of my train haiku from the past that seemed fitting. also, watch the film on here, or check out the chanel website the video and website it's nice to watch it on there.

:: missed chances taking you where you belong, on an old train found with the one you'd never dreamed of until today ::

a tout.... x c

knew all along

that i would always
remember that you'd always
forget----


::







photo :: carla coulson
andrew crane :: painting
haiku :: moi

more of my haiku
::
here

x c

the story of an hour

words distort my clock
hands swift-- at times-- stopped forget--
at times-- watch the hours
.

.
which reminds me. please see my previous post titled the story of an hour and take a few min to read my very favorite short story of all time from which i borrowed the title the story of an hour by kate chopin.. it's haunting-- delicate-- touches me every time i read it.
.

.
ok... gotta go or i'll be late for tutoring with miss abby at our cafe.... x c

.

chandeliers on the floor :: haiku
image :: mrs french flickr

::blue sweater haiku::

the bright blue sweater
lightens my dark exterior
don't always wear it



::blue sweater #haiku series::

my haiku :: here
julia galdo :: image

window curtain danced

:: heard the whistle of :: the train in your eyes open :: window curtain danced ::



more of my haiku::chandeliers::on::the::floor::

image :: leigh :: jkl designs