shhh uhhhh I mean ahh and to think, bad writing and grammar drive me crazy. AND I TEACH WRITING FOR GOODNESS SAKE AHHHH

after all this time.... in th midst of a really painful migraine where I'm typing most of this with my eyes closed (haha I mean seriously I should leave it for you as only auto correct intended that would be awesome) anyway where was I oh yes.. only at this incomvoeniwnrnv hHaha ok I left that one for ya, only at this inconvenient mime... Iran ugh i mean time seruov seriously mauby I cannot post on a IPod with aigraobe.* shhh shah IpeAn I mean ahhhhhjhh not duh

*iPod with a migraine
**to be clear, the migraine doesn't have a mountains MIGRAINE -- I do
***lol like that cleared things up!! ha I intended on writing that it's not my iPod who has the migraine, it's me. but I believe sfter all of this nonsense that's become screamingly cleat CLEAR. please font DON'T scream.

oh how this had
has become this is reductions reduce rediculus I just wanted to post some haiku thata I just wrogtw wrote about japan because jahoa -- how appropriate of course bit I scribbled them on post it notes and forget this technology inhibit wow I can't even type u fi
followed by hugging hah ah lala I was trying to put a lot of h's like in ahhhh but with more and I either get inhibit or hugging and now this simple post of two haiku for japan hasbecome a parhetic n obvious display of both my inability to type on th iPod tharen
the Algeria n so kindly gave to me saxonrj six months ago but i still cant do it and also tellse me that Persians during my migraine days I should stick to wroth writing on poster
postits with pencil. oh haha and by persians -imeanto write perhaps ....:for goodness saké [oh ya but that lady lazy LAST one there, my friends, that was alll mine, no credit to autocorrect on that one for goodness---]

ok I mist UST UH MUST dash --

die DUE to technical difficulties..mograkinograine ie. migraine had has seen significant increase.

haik u late
r

x c

sitting amongst shadows of her memory

a dear friend of mine who has with dignity, strength and grace been enduring an illness, has passed away. i sit holding the breath within me feeling this news envelop me still fresh though it has stood wavering on the edge of my thoughts lately. been writing tonight ever since i heard the news an hour or two ago, these thoughts and memories in no particular order have come over me and with the touch of words i have begun to capture the essence of what she meant and what this means.

image :: flickr

i just stand and stare before me shadows on the wall of dark purple orchids on bending branch..don't..hear what they're talking about..lost..shadows deep colors still capture her memory here in a dimly lit room that looked exactly the same five minutes ago before i knew

she dried the sage i still put in my dark tea today..gave it to me by the door..waiting..as i walked out into the sun didn't realize it was goodbye

shadows on the wall of dark purple orchids on bending branch..don't..hear what they're talking about..lost..shadows deep colors still capture her memory

echos of her accent melodic in my head take me somewhere else i hope she knew--

still in this moment right after i read those words so easy to read what i already knew so hard to believe i won't hear her generous dignified gentle voice again

wish i could have saved some of the messages that she left me on my cell phone. like the day i left her house without taking some cake with me for my family. i had a worried message from her telling me to please come back, that she'd forgotten to give me more cake.

shadows on the wall of dark purple orchids on bending branch..don't..hear what they're talking about..lost..shadows deep colors still capture her memory

this is the surreal moment before it sets in where i float slightly above my chair, numb, resonating, fingers working madly on this keyboard to capture her as if she could somehow silently slip away from my memory my fingers work reach move to grasp cling caress while knowing somewhere along the way that what was can never truly be lost

sitting amongst shadows of her memory
smiling amongst the echos of her laughter

.


.
.

ah yes, another note...

just a note to thank those of you who comment on here. it's very sweet, and though i may not have posts with endless lists of 30+ comments each as do so many of you, i have such sincere and delightful commenters that i wouldn't change 2 of your comments for 50 of 'em any day.

thanks to all who read, who comment, and who stop by wpm from time to time, this little blossoming endeavor of mine. this whole venture is a huge step for me in actually sharing the writing i've been scribbling down for years and years and..well....years. i love connecting with you, reading your posts, and getting to know you.

thanks to all of you who read this but remain silent...... that's fine by me.. that was how i was all throughout school.. always listening, reading, thinking and coming up with my own angle on everything, but writing it in my notebook and rarely raising my hand. doesn't mean i wasn't paying attention.



anyway, this is just a little random saturday afternoon note to thank you, inspired by one of the most genuine bloggers and a dedicated reader/commenter on wpm miss heidi from finding my way. check out her blog with bits and pieces, fantastic images, reflective questions, daily musings and sweet observations that make a delightful excuse to pause the day, stop by her post, reflect and smile.

also... as i've noticed on many blogs, and particularly on heidi and blair's, i adore the added personal touch of responding to commenters and the opportunity this leaves for conversing with one another, providing a brief moment to connect ....and so just to let you know, i almost always respond to your thoughts and comments by commenting back to you on here.... so check back from time to time... it's great to have that added 'conversation' element.



ok, enough rambling... time to get some coffee from my favorite cafe, get out in the sunshine of my favorite time of fading late afternoon, and find my favorite, silly algerian boy before sunset.... think the evening promises to be warm and golden, what beautiful weather, first moments of spring.

oh ya, and remind me to share some of my writing about spring in paris. every year i was there i would find constant inspiration..in the streets, the movement, the warm days, laughter, and moments from evening deep into the late nights still touched with sunlight, warm breeze and the glowing anticipation -- often overwhelming -- that something delicious was just about to happen.

enjoy the moments wherever you are. à demain. big kisses from cali... ♥c


images: 1} .littlegirlblue flickr 2,3} le love

thoughts, notes, and another haiku. ......................bon week-end!

torn scrap of paper
edge of napkin, my thoughts, you --
scribbled everywhere


image: littlegirlblue one of my new flickr favs!

just passing through

i started this blog in the midst of one of the hardest periods of my life. and i'm still very much stuck here grappling with finding my way out of this mess. i've never really addressed the issues with you here head on, i guess that's not my style, but i do share a glance here and there, notes of sincerity that i'd never before passed on, and discover that some of us find inspiration and solace in the same things. i was lying in bed thinking and thinking and decided to just get up and write this. i was touched by a comment earlier in the evening by blair from delight by design, {one of her many thoughtful comments} and realized how this distant closeness can help us move on, in a way i'd never imagined.

in a constant state of change, rearranging the awkward and precious elements of my life, rummaging around what i have and have failed to hold on to, what i lost, dusty objects of value uncovered, those i hope one day to grasp, and everything in between... i search for perspective and share with you words and thoughts that i've found in myself and in the conviction of others, that capture a distinct sentiment in a particular light that suits my situation in this moment, and often in the next... only inferring at the heart of the matter, because it's the only way that i can pull myself through it.

it's not yet been six months since i started the blog and i've met some kindred spirits, some great talent, and an abundance of inspiration, compassion, and generosity. i glance through the progression of my posts as it documents -- in a hazy sort of light -- the roads i've tried to go down, the ones that i still find covered in fog, jammed with traffic or with one too many curves, and distant roads just around the corner that i've merely seen on a map and have yet to locate on my own, but at least i've got the license and the nagging desire to search for resilience, the {albeit, stop-and-go} drive, to look further ...and to maybe, someday, get there.



thanks for coming with me, and taking me with you, for the occasional honk or wave, and for often lending me the gps and inspiration for routes that i'd never stopped to consider along the way and that, just possibly, can take me.. where i will discover.. where i'll want to go.

x chantal



images: 1}carla coulson 2}julia galdo

just a quick note.... bon week-end.

image: photobird

This is Just to Say

I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast

Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold

william carlos williams